Self-compassion – Why it is so important and how it is learned
Self-compassion is a powerful and scientifically based technique that has become an integral part of therapeutic practice and is often used in the context of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and especially Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT).
Self-compassion supports us in developing a mindful and loving approach to ourselves. For we can learn to be merciful to ourselves, and to treat us with goodwill and indulgence.
In contrast to an often learning-historically trained attitude of self-punishment and devaluation or self-optimization, self-compassion helps to approach challenges and crises with a long-term perspective and intrinsic motivation, and thus forms the basis for deep satisfaction, because self-compassion promotes resilience, reduces stress, and improves general well-being. In my practice, the cognitive-affective training of self-compassion is therefore one of the most important techniques.
What is self-compassion?
Self-compassion means meeting yourself with kindness, understanding and acceptance – especially in difficult moments. It is composed of three elements:
- Self-friendliness – Supporting yourself instead of criticizing yourself.
- Common humanity – Recognizing that mistakes and difficulties are part of life and we are all confronted with them.
- Mindfulness – Perceiving emotions without avoiding them or being overwhelmed by them.
Studies show that people with a high level of self-compassion suffer less from anxiety, depression and stress.
Why is it so hard for us to be compassionate with ourselves?
Many people have learned that self-criticism leads to better performance or self-compassion is selfish. But the opposite is the case: Those who meet themselves with compassion deal with challenges more motivated and calmly.
Common blockages are:
- The fear of appearing negligent or weak
- The belief that criticism is the only way to improve
- Patterns learned from childhood or society
The good news: self-compassion can be learned and trained!
Five practical techniques to strengthen self-compassion
1. Loving self-address – Become a friend
Replace self-criticism with kind words. Ask yourself, „What would I say to a good friend in this situation?“ and tell yourself.
2. Practice mindfulness – accept feelings without evaluating them
Perceive your feelings without judging yourself for them. A simple exercise: Take a deep breath and say to yourself inwardly, “It’s okay that I feel that way.”
3. Physical self-care – your body shows you the way
Treat your body lovingly: yoga, a warm drink or a gentle touch (e.g. placing your hand on your chest) can give you a sense of security.
4. Change of perspective – Seeing yourself with friendly eyes
Imagine that a loving person would comfort you. How would he or she look at you and say what? Take this attitude towards yourself.
5. A self-compassionate mantra for difficult moments
If you feel stressed or overwhelmed, repeat: “I’m not alone. It is human to make mistakes. I can meet myself with kindness.”
Conclusion – Self-compassion as a daily practice
Through targeted exercises, my patients learn to perceive their emotional needs and to meet themselves in a friendly and understanding way even in difficult moments. Through the integration of self-compassion in psychotherapy and coaching, a sustainable improvement in the quality of life is achieved. This technique makes it possible to accept oneself authentically and to cultivate a serene relationship with emotional challenges. It is not a sign of weakness, but of inner strength. Regular exercise helps to develop a natural self-image and feel comfortable with it. I like to accompany my clients on this path – in my Practice for Psychotherapy and Coaching in Munich or online.
Appointments in the practice psychotherapy Munich Maxvorstadt.
Please note: my offer is only aimed at insured with private health insurance companies, „Beihilfe“ and self-payers. Billing via statutory health insurance companies is unfortunately not possible.
In addition to face-to-face appointments in my practice for psychotherapy Munich Maxvorstadt, I also offer online appointments (Online psychotherapy or Online coaching), which you can take in a relaxed manner from home via smartphone, laptop and tablet. To arrange an initial appointment, you are welcome to contact me initially via email and I will get back to you directly.
hallo at praxisleibrecht dot de
To open your email program, please click on the mail icon.
Please note: My practice works according to the ordering principle. Therefore, the following applies: In case of cancellations later than 72 hours or no-show, you will be charged part of the service. The default fee is generally not reimbursed by the health insurance companies.